Talking about money is a touchy subject for a lot of people. But it doesn't have to be! In this episode, I give six tips for discussing money with your spouse or loved ones to keep the conversation open and positive.Â
Check out the episode now for some great advice on how to make money conversations less awkward and more fun!
Every Tuesday, Tiffany answers one of your submitted questions. To submit a question for an upcoming episode, visit here: https://www.moneytalkwitht.com/asktiffany
Intro/Outro: You know what it is? That's right. It's time to talk money. With your money nerd and financial coach. Now tighten those purse strings and open those ears. It's the Money Talk with Tiff podcast.
Tiffany Grant: Hey, hey, hey. Welcome to another episode of Tiffany's Take where I answer your money questions if you want your question. Answered on the podcast. Go to www.moneytalkwitht.com/tiffany and I'll be happy to answer. So the question today is, how do you recommend having talks about money with my spouse or family in household members?
So this can be a verys. Sensitive topic for some people, depending on the dynamics of the situation. Um, so I'll give you some tips on how to get the conversation started. Um, also, you know, if you're working with someone and sharing money, you know, some things to think about as well and how to make it. all work together.
So here we go. Number one, make sure you have an open and honest conversation about money. So maybe you can start the conversation by discussing what your goals are, such as saving for retirement, paying off debt, you know, whatever the case may be. What I have learned is that the more you make your goals known, , the easier it is for you to stick to them.
So that's the whole reason why I started the blog, right, is because I wanted my goal out in the open. So that way my audience, you know, at that time I didn't think it was gonna be anybody, but my audience could hold me responsible. So have an open and honest conversation about money. Let them know where you are, what's you're struggling with, what you're doing good at.
You know, maybe you all have things that you can, you know, you have traits. And stuff where you can work together to make things better. You know, maybe somebody's good with numbers and somebody's not, but you all aren't having a conversation about that. Your life could be made so much easier just by having a conversation.
So just have an open and honest conversation. Next, set expectations. So if you're working with someone, On money and you all are, you know, combining money or really closely tied, um, together with money. Then discuss who will be responsible for different tasks related to the money management, such as budgeting, monitoring the investments, you know, so on and so forth.
Now, of course, this should be a joint thing, which I will get to in the next. Uh, tip, but make sure that, you know, play on each other's strengths. So if somebody's really good at budgeting, let them do the budgeting and, you know, make sure that you're involved, of course, but let them take the lead on it.
It's okay. Or if someone's good at investments, let them take the lead on investments. Make sure you're involved, but have them take the lead, you know, so, , you can definitely work together with, you know, your spouse or other household members in order to make sure everybody's money is flowing right. So my next point is schedule regular money meetings.
So this is a great way to stay on the same page and make sure that you all agree, or whoever's in the dynamic. On the decisions being made with regard to money management. So a lot of times what happens in these situations is somebody just goes rogue. They're like, okay, this is the budget. This is what y'all need to do, you know, , whatever, whatever.
And just, you know, take over really. And that causes issues because, When that happens, the other people don't feel heard. Whoever is the other party, they don't feel heard and so it causes issues. Or maybe they, they took over the investments, so now you don't know what's going on. That will make you feel some type of way.
So make sure you have schedule, make sure you have regular money meetings. I'd like to call them money dates, uh, where the only thing you're talking about most of the, what you're talking about is money. And that makes it easier to, to have these discuss. Next, you wanna make sure that you practice empathy when discussing finances.
Mind you, not everybody comes from the same situation as you. Um, not everybody has the same opinions or concerns as you. So make sure you respect each other's opinions and concerns when it comes to financial decisions, opening up about money is really personal. And, um, for a lot of people it's difficult to do, so make sure you keep that in mind as well.
If you know you wanna have a money discussion and maybe that person has trauma surrounding money, maybe get to that first or have them reach out for help for that first before you start trying to talk to. Talk to them about it because it may cause other issues that have nothing to do with you, but something to do with their past that they just haven't gotten over yet.
So, um, make sure that you practice empathy when you're having these conversations. Um, you're not always right. I'm here to tell you, Tiffany said, you are not always right. So , make sure you keep that in mind too. So with that being said, make sure you have a plan for handling disagreements. So establish an agreement ahead of time on how to handle disagreements that may arise when talking about the finances.
So let's say for instance, you are a couple and you know you're going through your monthly budget, you are on your money date, and somebody has a goal that's super important to them, but the other person doesn't see that it's important. Have something in place where. You take the decision making away from the both of you so you have something that you already agreed on.
Like, okay, this is how we would handle a situation like this. And you can just go back to that document and say, Hey, we came up with this. This is how we're going to handle it, versus. Waiting until the situation happens and then it's like, no, we need to do it my way. No, we need to do it your way. No, we need to do it.
My, you know, and then now it's an issue. So have a plan for handling disagreements about budgeting or investing or whatever the case may be. Um, so that way you can plan ahead of time and when. , the situation comes up, everything doesn't hit the fan , if you know what I mean. So that's another tip. Uh, also this goes into, you know, having the money dates and creating a plan.
Make sure you plan together, so work together to set short-term and long-term goals. You both can have separate ones and you all can have joint ones, you know, and even if this is a household where you are not. You know, like a spouse or whatever, maybe it's your family that you're living with. You can have goals that you wanna accomplish together.
Maybe it's to upgrade the house that everybody's in so that way, you know, everybody has more space. Or maybe it's, uh, one person wants to pay off their debt and the other person maybe doesn't have debt. How can we work together to make this happen? Just think about, you know, what type of goals you wanna put in place, and if you are confused about goals, the month of January, I did a whole month of just goal-based episodes.
So go back to January. Tiffany's take So Tuesday's episodes and it's all about goal setting and how to, um, create goals. Think about when you're creating goals, how to stick with them. I covered the gamut, so go back and listen to those. Excuse me. So go back and listen to those. Um, if you have any questions about goal setting, but hopefully that answered your question about how to have money talks with spouse, family, or household members.
If you, once your question answered on the podcast, feel free to go to money talk with t.com/tiffany, and I'll be more than happy to answer. But until next. Bye-bye.
Intro/Outro: Thank you for listening, joining and being a part of the Money Talk with Tiff podcast this week. You can check Tiff out every Thursday for a New Money Talk podcast, but if you just can't wait until next week, you can listen to previous podcast episodes at Money Talk with t.com or follow tiff on all social media platforms at Money Talk with T.
Until next time. Spend wise by spending less than you make a word to the money wise is. Efficient.
Key Takeaways
- To ensure you stick with them, have an open and honest conversation about money, including your goals.
- Set expectations for who will be responsible for different tasks related to money management.
- Schedule regular money meetings to stay on the same page.
- Practice empathy when discussing finances, as all parties may not come from the same situation or have the same opinions/concerns.
- Make a plan for how to handle disagreements that may arise when talking about finances.
- Work together to set short-term and long-term goals separately and as a unit.
Money is a topic that can cause tension and uncertainty in any relationship. However, avoiding discussions about finances can lead to even more problems in the long run. Many couples are plagued by misunderstandings and disagreements simply because they never discussed money.
In this blog post, we will delve into the reasons why it's important to have open conversations about money, how to create a safe environment for communication, the benefits of holding money meetings, and tips for handling disagreements with empathy and understanding.
Open and Honest Conversations
The first step towards building a healthy financial relationship is to establish open and honest communication. This can be challenging for some, particularly if there is a history of financial mistrust or conflict. However, the key is to start the conversation slowly and without any assumptions or judgments. A good way to do this is by asking simple questions, such as “How do you feel about saving money?” or “What are your financial goals?” It's important to remain open-minded and objective when discussing your finances with your partner.
Having honest and open conversations about budgeting and saving is vital to create a secure financial future. It all starts by considering your approach; remain empathetic, understanding, and respectful. Remember that both parties must feel comfortable and validated in their perspectives on difficult topics.
In doing so, dialogue should be rooted in trust and a win-win mindset, encouraging both sides to keep an open mind. Having meaningful conversations around money with your spouse or loved one will not only strengthen the relationship but will also promote financial literacy and stability throughout the relationship.
Hold Money Meetings
Now that you've started the conversation, it's important to hold regular money meetings to discuss finances and track progress. These meetings can range from a brief 15-minute check-in to an hour-long session, depending on your financial goals and current situation.
To ensure the meetings are productive, set expectations beforehand, such as creating an agenda or a list of financial topics to discuss. During the meeting, it's important to remain focused and avoid personal attacks or judgment.
Financial communication can be crucial to a successful relationship, regardless of whether you are married or dating. Setting expectations in advance and regularly re-assessing your money situation is key to ensuring both parties remain on the same page.
Having regular money meetings with your partner gives you an opportunity to reflect on existing goals, discuss any changes or unexpected events, and come up with positive plans for the future. Not only does this help make sure the financial stress each person is feeling is addressed, it allows for honest conversations about how each person can make their own individual contributions to the relationship finances. Scheduling such discussions on an ongoing basis sets both parties up for a long-lasting, successful relationship.
Empathy and Understanding
One of the most crucial aspects of discussing finances in relationships is being empathetic and understanding toward your partner. It's important to remember that everyone has different financial values and attitudes. Therefore, it's essential to listen actively and try to understand one another's perspective. If you have disagreements, it's important to find common ground and work together to find a solution that works for both of you.
It is important to approach these discussions with understanding and empathy, as everyone's financial experiences differ. For example, someone who was raised in poverty might have a wildly different perspective on money management than those raised in more privileged households.
Different lifestyles will lead to varied outlooks, and therefore it is essential that we remember not to judge others by our own means. By listening and entering into the conversation without preconceived notions or assumptions, we can gain a better appreciation for individual perspectives and improve our own ability to make sound financial decisions.
Handling Disagreements
Unfortunately, disagreements may arise, even when you've established open communication and empathy. The key to handling disagreements is to remain calm and rational. If you struggle to find a resolution, consider seeking the help of a professional, such as a financial planner or therapist. They can provide an impartial perspective and help you work towards a fair and realistic solution.
A good strategy is to focus on the issue and not get personal, working together to come up with solutions instead of being confrontational. Set aside at least 30 minutes of undisturbed time without any distractions, where you can calmly discuss the situation and devise a plan both parties feel good about.
Aiming for win-win outcomes when facing disputes by having honest but respectful conversations can help ensure that disagreements concerning money do not create long-term resentments or tensions in your relationship.
Setting Goals
Finally, setting financial goals together is crucial to building a strong financial foundation. This includes creating financial goals that align with your values and lifestyle, as well as establishing a budget and a plan to achieve those goals. It's important to celebrate milestones and progress towards your goals, as this will help keep you motivated and invested in your financial future.
Short-term goals give us a clear target to set our sites on and provide brief gratification upon completion. Long-term goals allow us to plan further ahead and keep ourselves motivated even through the difficult times that come with attempting bigger, lifelong plans. Establishing both short and long-term goals together provides an advantage as they can work together to bring balance into our lives and provide structure.
For instance, short-term gains and successes can be used to build toward longer-term objectives, while long-term plans offer a broader perspective that could inspire short-term ambitions along the way. Therefore, setting both short and long-term goals is a great way of ensuring success in financial matters.
Conclusion
In conclusion, discussing finances in relationships can be challenging but is necessary for building a strong foundation of trust and understanding. By establishing open communication, holding money meetings, showing empathy and understanding, handling disagreements with rationality, and setting financial goals together, couples can work towards a stable and prosperous financial future together. Remember, it's never too late to start the conversation!
