How To Implement Effective Self Care Into Your Life with Unique Figueroa | Ep. 220

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Tiffany Grant: Hey everyone, I am so excited because I have unique. Figueroa on the line and she is here to talk to us about a topic that we have not talked about on the podcast before.

And that is self-care and self-love, and it is so very important. So hey, unique, how are you today? Hey,

Unique Figueroa: I am doing amazing and I would like to thank you for having me on your platform. I am grateful. So thank

Tiffany Grant: you. All right, thank you. So let's jump right in. Um, when we're talking about self-care, what is self-care?

Because I feel like, you know, a lot of people talk about self-care, self-love, things like that, but nobody really goes into what that even means or what it is. Uh, so what does self-care mean to you?

Unique Figueroa: You know, there is no one definition to self-care. Um, self-care can look different for each and every one of us, and it's up to us to figure out what our own prescription is for self-care.

You know, in one's life, self-care could be learning to set boundaries. And someone else's life. It could be just, you know, learning to make time for yourself to read a book and not just be always on the go. So, you know, it's up to us to be mindful. And start to get in tune with ourselves to realize what self-care may mean.

You know, if you are constantly being exhausted or triggered and not realize where it's coming from, it's just like, you know, you're snapping at people or you're beat down, or you're. Sick all the time, and it's like, you know, wait a minute. Let me take time to reflect on myself. What is missing in my life that I need to kind of fill in those gaps to figure out what self-care is for me.

So you can't say exact thing. Self-care is going to get a manicure and pedicure and taking a day at the spa. Yes, that those are pieces that could be a part of your self-care regimen, but it's up to you to find out what the prescription is. Mm. That is

Tiffany Grant: so true because I know my self-care is like the boundaries, uh, because I'm always like, Ooh, I could do it.

I could do it. I can do it. But lately I'm like, yeah, no. Yeah. And I am not gonna do it if I don't feel like doing it. Um, and so I wanna also get into why did you decide to get into self-care and actually writing a book

Unique Figueroa: about. I don't know if I made the decision to say, you know what, this is the, you know, path I'm gonna go, but I also have a podcast.

And one of my guests made a comment saying that they were a wounded warrior and that's what kind of brought them into the field that they were in by being a wounded warrior. And I almost feel like I was a wounded warrior. You know, I didn't understand the value of self-care fi just five years. I just didn't understand that.

I thought I had to constantly keep pouring into everyone else because that was my responsibility as a mother, you know, and so on, that I was neglecting myself in the long run. And so when I, I, and, and it wasn't like I just woke up and say, self-care is what I'm doing today. It was just like I started to slowly make space for myself.

And once I started to slowly make space for myself, I started to realize, wait a minute, there's a shift happening. And then I started to realize, wait a minute, this was the self-care that I've needed all along. And that's, and so once I started to get to this place of realizing, wow. I was neglecting myself for so long and didn't even know it.

I was like, if I did this for over 40 years, that means other people are doing it too. So with with me going through this journey of being the wounded Warrior within my journey of self-care, you know, I was like, you know what? I wanna start to put the message out there, you know, that, you know, so that self-care is needed.

It is a requirement. You. In all of our lives, no one is exempt from having self-care for themselves. And like I said at the beginning, it's up to you to, um, find your prescription. Gotcha, gotcha.

Tiffany Grant: So let's dive into what people should look for. I know we mentioned a few things, um, towards the beginning, but what should people look for if, you know they're.

Do I need self-care? Like, am I experiencing burnout? Uh, what are some cues that they can look for? Um, if they were experiencing, um, no self-care and some burnout.

Unique Figueroa: Well, first of all, I think every single one of us needs self self-care. I don't, like I say, I don't think anyone ex exempt from it, and self-care looks like making time and space for you, whatever that may look like for you.

So yes. If you are feeling exhausted all the time, if you are maybe being very triggered a lot, like, you just don't even understand why you are being triggered and, um, and like you said, You, you feel that boundaries is a part of your self-care regimen, where you're like, okay, I feel like I can take it all.

You know, I can do it all. But boundaries comes in so many different forms as well, too. It could be boundaries with the people, the loved ones around you, you know, they're taking advantage of you. Um, and this is why you're being triggered and frustrated all the time because you're not putting boundaries with the, your loved ones, the closest people with you in your life, and.

I, you know, I'm a victim of that as well too, and it's also challenging for me now, even though I started to implement all of these self-care, you know, rituals in my life, you know, with the closest people in my lives for so many years, I already created the narrative for no boundaries. So now that I am starting to create these boundaries, it's hard for them to see me in that light because now people are you.

They know you of the way you, you trained them to know you. What do you mean you can't do that for me? What do you mean you don't have time for that? What do you mean? Like, you know, it's, that's just not a part of what they understand. So with that, you gotta hold grace for these situations. You can't get more frustrated and be like, they don't understand I need time for me.

No, you know, Whole grace and understanding that, you know, the narrative was already created and it's okay, but now just, you know, you have to create the new habits of moving forward with, you know, your currency of self-care. Because I definitely feel like self-care is a currency. I hope so. And self love.

Absolutely.

Tiffany Grant: So, um, let's stay on that for a little bit because I know, you know, sometimes people, and I see it on my social media thread all the time when people are like, oh, but that's your mom. Oh, but that's your sibling. Oh, but that's your dad. You know, when somebody's complaining about something or what have you, but.

It's okay. Like you can put boundaries with your family as well. And I feel like that's important to reiterate and kind of, you know, dig into, cuz I've seen it so many times where people are, uh, they feel obligated just because it's family. But at the end of the day, you know, this is your life and you kind of have to, you know, Tweak it, how you wanna tweak it so you know if somebody is struggling with that part, um, you know, with putting the boundaries with their family, even though they're very much needed.

Do you have any tips around that?

Unique Figueroa: You know, I say first start with yourself, with setting your mindset that holding grace for you and for them, because just because you arrived to this place doesn't mean they're supposed to arrive. And if these narratives were already created, you can't break yourself down with frustration and anger, you know?

So just hold grace and understanding and just. Try your best to stick to your guns of what you need for yourself. They will have to eventually, you know, go with the flow, but you don't stop the flow of what the direction you're trying to go, just because you don't wanna make someone else uncomfortable.

But yet you are building uncomfortability within yourself. You know, self-care isn't selfish and don't allow someone else to make you feel that way, you know? You are important. And actually I say that like that's the first like thing I say in my book is like, you are an important person in your own life.

A lot of times we're holding everyone else on these pedestals within our lives and that we're forgetting to hold our own selves with just as as much importance or even more importance. We're, we're the only person. We're from the day we're born to the day we die every single moment of our lives. We have to hold importance for ourselves.

Just having that mindset. Everything really starts with the mindset. With everything you do in life, if you're looking to change the way you're eating or looking to change your, you know, your financial situation, it first comes with you setting your mind to what the goal is. And if the goal is that you are tr going to start making time and space for yourself, you have to be okay here and then having the mindset.

Everyone is not gonna be where you are at, and it's okay. It's okay, but don't get yourself in the physio worked up about it because you know they haven't arrived to where you're at. Yes.

Tiffany Grant: Yes. And I love what you said there, self-care is not selfish. Um, I know just as a parent, as a single mom, sometimes I'm like, oh, well, you know, the kids this, I need to do this.

Make sure, da, da, da, da. Um, and not make time for myself because I'm thinking, oh, I'm just being selfish. But that's not the case. If I, if I can't take care of myself, then they can't be taken care of. And so I've come to realize that, uh, in the past, I would say couple of years or so, that self-care is important, not only for me, but for my kids.

Um mm-hmm. You know, it kind of has a trickle down effect,

Unique Figueroa: right? Yes. And they're watching us as well. They're watching us. So we don't want them, them to see that this is okay for mommy to be on burnout, because then now are we subliminally telling them that it's okay when, when they grow up to just go and burn themselves out.

They're watching this, you know? And we wanna be mindful of that as well too, because we won the start to. You know, not saying they're curses, but we wanna try to start break breaking those routines that we've been used to looking at. You know, like I hear so much talk about, oh, the strong black woman, and we have to start softening that at this point.

Becau, you know, It because we constantly seeing, you know, our mothers and our, you know, ancestors breaking their backs for everyone else and thinking that's what we are supposed to do. And it's okay to listen to your inner inner self and say, you know, what makes me feel good? Just because this was the narrative I saw for so long doesn't mean this has to be my narrative.

So be mindful that, you know, our kids are watching. Yes. I

Tiffany Grant: love that you said that. So now let's get into the book, because I'm curious to know what the book is about, what's in it. Um, so just give us a little taste of what the name of the book is and what people can find

Unique Figueroa: in it. Yeah, so I mean, it's a small but mighty book, my lighting, it's your guide to bringing more acts of self-care.

And this book is, um, just under a hundred pages. So it's small but mighty. And it's not meant for you to read over a weekend. It's meant for you to work through it for three months, 12 weeks. So I, I call it a workbook because you gotta put the work in. You can't just say, oh, I read what Unique said in that.

And, and no, that doesn't, it doesn't work like that. For us to start, start seeing changes, we have to apply the work. So the reason why I'd say is, um, 12 weeks is because it's broken down into 12 chapters and each chapter, you should take you a week to do so. For example, there is a chapter on affirmations, which is the second chapter.

And five years ago I didn't realize the power of I am. Because at what follows I am defines, defines us. So if you say, you know, I am tired, I am sick. You know, just, and we, if we start to be mindful about language, we're constantly saying, like, a lot of I ams in the negative tone, and then that's the direction that we're going.

Oh, I am broke. Oh, I can't, you know, I can't do that. I don't got the money, I don't got the resources, all this or whatever it may be. And it's just reshifting that narrative for yourself. And you know, I am worthy of a, you know, of a happy life. I am worthy of this. I am, you know, so I, I going through. Seven days of affirmation.

So e every day, you know, so I'm, I'm giving a talk like the power of, I am the power of changing the narrative within ourselves because we have to realize how are we seeing ourselves. We may be like, oh, I need self key. I'm going to get my manicure and pedicure today because I saw that on, in, on Instagram.

And you feel good for that moment when you get that manicure and pedicure, but at the same time, you're doing all. Self-talk with yourself on a daily basis, which is taking away from that 10 minutes, you felt great after that manicure. Let's just get back to the core of it. This book is about you working on things within inside of yourself to realize you are worried of having that self-care within yourself.

So, you know the first chapter, I mean, the first chapter. Is actually prepare. So I'm telling you, this is like your first week at school. You don't jump right into the lesson period. Like we're gonna start to prepare. Here goes, you know, statements. I want you to be mindful, holding grace for yourself, mindfulness.

Taking these words and embodying them. Listen to affirmations on YouTube this week. Just start letting all of this high vibration new information, start seeking in with yourself. So that's like week one, just preparing yourself and asking you to go buy a, a journal, you know? Um, You know, to prepare yourself.

Take a moment with buying this journal. Like, why do you like the journal Question yourself. I'm not, don't just pick up the journal because you're like, oh, the books that get a journal. Why are you picking this journal up? Like, why do you like it? You know what's, you know, do you like the way the pages turn?

Is it spiral? Whatever the case is. So let preparing yourself for what's, for the weeks I've had. Chapter two is going into the affirmations, and then by day seven, you should be equipped to write your own personal affirmations after going through six days of repeating affirmations to yourself and just taking those five minutes.

Those five minutes every day to just say high vibrational. You know, talk to yourself makes a huge difference. Cause if you wake up in a frizzy, oh my God, I'm laying so horrible. I need to get myself together. This is ridiculous. I can never be on time. And then now you walked out into this world with this low vibrational talk that you have with yourself.

Let's take it back a moment. Let's, before we walk out that door, let's, let's, let's take five minutes to say some high vibration words to ourselves with the power of I am. So it's just starting to create that narrative and I tell, you know, and so then now each week, you know, the goal is to build onto the next to the previous week.

So then the next week we go into journaling. So now you should be used to saying your affirmations. And then now you know, I'm not asking you to say affirmations every day, every morning, I'm asking you to see where you can fit them in your. If you feel like you could fit them in your life, do you say them?

When you realize you're feeling down about yourself and you'd be like, you know what, I'm feeling low, but you know, I am blessed. I am worthy. I'm enough. You know, dig into that place. Know that you have that resource within yourself. Because I didn't have that resource, you know? And so I'm taking all of this because I realize these are tools I didn't have in my toolbox just five years ago.

They were not there for me. So then, you know, they, um, actually I should, um, just read off the, the chapters cuz then the chapters will tell you kind of like what you kind of go through, um, every week. But just, so that's just an idea. Like every week we're just slowly building in those acts of self.

Speaking those high vibration, the words are self-care. So, you know, the first week is preparing, the second week is affirmations. The third week is journaling. And the journaling, you know, is allowing you to take a moment in time to start digging in within yourself, you know, with, you know, journaling prompts and so on.

And I say, you know, journaling doesn't have to be your self-care routine, but this is allowing you to start to dig within yourself and start to pull out these resources. Like, what did I like when I was. Because we, we are in a society where we have so much dictation. Our parents have been dictating it to us since we were born.

How we should walk, how we should, you know, react to people. You know, all of these things. Did you say hi to Ms. Jackson? Even though you, you know, it's just like, you know, we've been how to act, respond our whole lives. Our teachers have dictated to us how we're supposed to act. Are you sitting up? What is your pencil?

You know this dictation. Dictation. So we have been constantly, since the moment we've been born being told what to do. So this journaling is a time to, you know, sit with yourself and start to figure out what do I even like? I know they told me I'm supposed to like this. They told me I'm supposed to go to college.

They told me I'm supposed to have, you know, a two car garage with kids and da da da, and you know, You may be like, I don't even know if I like it, but I'm being told I'm supposed to have them. You know? So, you know, so society, and I'm not just saying our parents, you know, everybody did what we, what we knew to do.

And no one, uh, I'm gonna say did us wrong. But we have to realize and take knowledge that we've been dictated for our whole lives by society, by commercials you. Imaging, all of that has been dictating to us on how we supposed to show up in this world, and have we been listening to our true selves on how we, we wanna show up in this world.

So journaling is giving you a moment in time to start digging into those places within your, um, self, within the journaling prompts, and then, Hold on, hold on,

Tiffany Grant: hold on. Mm-hmm. Because we don't wanna give

away

Unique Figueroa: all the juice. They gotta get the book.

Tiffany Grant: Yes. So, um, with that being said, cause I'm like, Ooh, don't give away the whole book.

We gonna buy it.

Unique Figueroa: Um, so

Tiffany Grant: if people were interested in finding out where they can get this book or finding out more about you, uh, how would they

Unique Figueroa: do? Well, as of now, the book is definitely on Amazon, um, amazon.com and all networks. So like if you're listening to this in Canada, or if you're listening to send this in the uk, you can still find it on Amazon.

It'll be on within your, your network. Um, I, when this podcast comes out, maybe I'll be at Target. I don't know. We're manifesting. Yes. Hey, you'll be at Target. Be at Target, maybe be at Walmart. I, I, but as of now is definitely on, um, amazon.com. And you can always find me at, um, ww dot, um, becoming unique.com, and um, you can go follow me on Instagram.

I feel like that's my most active location, like if I'm making any type of announcements, is on Instagram. So even though I have. Like, you know, Instagram is the place for all the information for me. And, you know, within your show notes you can put my, my link tree and my link tree will have like all the links to whatever's happening.

So the link tree to whatever bookstore you can get the book at, whatever, you know, where my podcast, where, you know, it's all about vibrating higher and you know, in Instagram and so on. So, So I'm sure you, um, should have that in the show notes and they can click, click, click

Tiffany Grant: yes, yes. And really quick, what is the name of your podcast in case somebody wants to go immediately?

Unique Figueroa: Yes. It's called Becoming Unique. So it is a lifestyle podcast. With a focus around wellness, health and wellness and, and so much more. So one week we can be talking about gut health. In the next week we could be talking about I am Enough. So the topics range. You know, one week we're talking about Pilates, another week we talking about our or oral health, or we may be talking about adaptogens or you know, but every single episode is geared towards you vibrating.

Mm. Information and tools towards you vibrating higher. So, you know, of course I, I get people's stories and so on as well, but their story comes along with information for you to, you know, for you to take in using your tool bag.

Tiffany Grant: Perfect. Perfect. Yeah, cuz chances are if they're listening to this podcast, they're on a platform.

They can just do, do, oh, lemme go listen to you need some more. Um, so like you said, I will have all those links in the show notes. Uh, so definitely check those out. Thank you so much for bringing this topic to my platform because like I said, I don't think we've talked about it, but this is something that is super important to me in my daily life and so I'm glad that we were able to have this discussion.

Yay. Its me

Unique Figueroa: too. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. I appreciate you.

Tiffany Grant: All right. Thank you. Unique bye.

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