Break the Cycle: Transforming Your Relationship With Money | Ep. 2

Do you ever catch yourself repeating the same money patterns you saw growing up? Maybe you’ve heard yourself say, “I’m just not good with money,” or felt a pang of regret after a shopping spree meant to lift your mood. If so, you’re definitely not alone. In episode 2, How the Financial Crisis Shaped My Money Philosophy, host Tiffany Grant invites us to pull back the curtain on our own money stories—stories often shaped long before we ever earned a paycheck of our own.

In this post, we’ll dig into how our upbringings, emotions, and habits influence our finances, and most importantly, how we can flip the script to create healthier, happier money relationships. Let’s get started—because you absolutely have the power to change your money story.

The Money Patterns We Inherit: Why Your Childhood Matters

Our first lessons about money almost always come from home. Maybe your family was thrifty, making every dollar stretch. Or like Tiffany, perhaps you grew up surrounded by spenders who weren’t coupon clippers or bargain hunters. Tiffany recalls, “Everybody in my family loves to spend money, loves to buy things, loves to use credit cards…growing up in that environment, you know, I loved it as a kid because I’m like, ooh, I can get this.”

Sound familiar? Research confirms that financial habits—good and bad—often trickle down through generations. According to a 2021 study published in the Journal of Family and Economic Issues, parents’ financial behaviors heavily influence their children’s attitude towards money, even into adulthood.

Reflection time

• What money memories shape your own habits?
• Were major purchases discussed? Was using credit cards normal, or discouraged?
• Did you see anyone use coupons, or did they wave them away as “not worth the time?”

Taking stock of your “money DNA” isn’t about blame—it’s about awareness. Once we see the patterns, we can choose which ones to keep and which to leave behind.

Trauma and Turning Points: Using Hard Lessons as Fuel

For some of us, it takes witnessing a crisis to wake us up. Tiffany shares how her family, hit hard by the 2008–2009 financial crisis, ended up filing bankruptcy as a result of uncontrolled spending and mounting debt. The result? Traumatized, Tiffany veered away from credit cards altogether. “I was petrified of having a credit card…I did not want one. I did not want to see one.”

Isn’t it wild how the pendulum can swing in the opposite direction when pain is involved? If you’ve lived through a financial crisis—yours or your family’s—it’s natural to feel wary of certain financial tools or situations.

But here’s a crucial insight: Neither extreme—reckless spending or total avoidance—serves us well long-term. As Tiffany discovered, budding financial health often means learning to reframe our relationship with money tools. She learned that building credit required wise, regular use of credit cards—not hiding from them.

Key lesson:
Painful financial experiences can propel us into positive action—but only if we’re willing to look at them honestly, learn, and adapt.

The Emotional Side of Spending: Retail Therapy, Regret, and the Cycle That Follows

Let’s get real for a minute: Money is emotional. Maybe you’ve ducked into a store for some retail therapy after a tough day or splurged online to celebrate. Initially, the rush feels good. But often, regret sneaks in with the credit card bill.

Tiffany nails it here: “A lot of people, they’re spenders or savers, and it’s based on their emotions… You get stressed out. You’re like, ooh, I need some retail therapy… But then you have to rein it in and say, am I going to feel better for the moment or am I going to feel better later on?”

Why does this happen?
Studies show shopping releases dopamine, giving us a temporary “high.” But the crash—financially and emotionally—usually follows. Chronic emotional spending can leave us feeling less in control and more anxious over time.

Ask yourself:

• What feelings usually accompany your spending sprees—boredom, sadness, celebration?
• What non-shopping activities could help you ride out those emotions instead?

The First Step to Changing Your Money Habits

Ready for good news? Awareness is one of your greatest money superpowers. When you look at your upbringing, examine your emotional triggers, and observe your current money behaviors non-judgmentally, you give yourself a real shot at change.

Tiffany puts it this way: “Look at how your emotions play a part, look at how your environment plays a part, look at how your family plays a part. And that’s the first step, is awareness.”

Much like keeping a food journal helps you spot eating patterns, a short period of tracking what you spend and when can reveal surprising triggers. Try jotting down:

• What you spent
• Why you spent it
• How you felt before and after

Within a week or two, you’ll start catching your own patterns—and that’s when real change begins.

Actionable Steps to Rewrite Your Money Story

If you grew up absorbing money habits you want to change, here are some steps—grounded in research and Tiffany’s experience—to help you chart your own healthy path:

1. Educate Yourself

Sometimes we don’t know what we don’t know. Dive into books, podcasts (like Money Talk with Tiff!), or financial literacy classes. Knowledge helps replace old, false beliefs (“credit cards are evil” or “couponing is a waste of time”) with empowering alternatives.

2. Automate Good Habits

Set up automatic transfers to savings or bill-pay. The less you have to “remember,” the more consistent you’ll be—with less emotional friction.

3. Use Tools, Not Rules

Credit cards, coupons, or budgets aren’t good or bad; they’re tools. Decide how to use them to fit your life. For instance, Tiffany started using coupons at 16 to stretch her CVS paycheck—demonstrating that saving isn’t about deprivation, but resourcefulness.

4. Find Your Motivation

Is your goal to break generational patterns? To give your children a better start? Pinpoint your “why,” and remind yourself often. This makes the “work” feel worthwhile.

5. Practice Self-Compassion

Changing habits takes time. If you fall back into a familiar pattern, don’t beat yourself up. Instead, ask: “What triggered that? What can I try next time?” Progress, not perfection.

Metaphor Time: Steering Your Financial Ship

Picture your relationship with money as a ship. Maybe you inherited a leaky old vessel, patched together with your family’s beliefs and habits. But here’s the empowering part: with knowledge and awareness, you can repair the hull, chart a new course, and invite new crewmates (supportive friends, advisors, resources) aboard.

You might encounter stormy seas—unexpected bills, emotional triggers, economic downturns—but as Captain, you have the tools to navigate toward calmer, more abundant waters.

You Are the Author of Your Money Story

It doesn’t matter what your past looks like or how your parents handled money. Every day, you get to make choices—however small—that steer you in a new direction. Changing your relationship with money is a journey, not a sprint. But with self-awareness, education, and a dash of courage, you can break generational cycles and build a future that fits your dreams.

So—what story will you write next?

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